Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
