He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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