Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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