yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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