i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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