What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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