i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
