Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
