Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
