I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
