I seem to have left my pride at pride
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize