Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
