It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
