hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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