marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
