they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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