I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
