Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
