idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize