She announced her abortion via fbk
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
