it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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