I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
