How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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