her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
