Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
