what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
