but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
