Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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