I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize