Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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