The maid of honor just puked.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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