How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
