I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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