Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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