12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize