Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
its liver damage thursday
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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