we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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