It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize