then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
