I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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