just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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