Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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