I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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