wrigley field is MILF paradise
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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