summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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