she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
