I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
