Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
