YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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