id be glad to
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
