He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
