wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
