I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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