I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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