Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize