when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
