he was CRYING into my vagina
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize