I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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