I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
