she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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