She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
