why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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