Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
