and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
