he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
