.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
