i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
