don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
