i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
