I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
