i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
