My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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