she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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